Sunday School

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep. 

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.

And God Said “Let There Be Bridge”

A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for Me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."

The biker thought about it for a long time Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Is Jeffrey toying with PKR?

By Luke Rintod of FMT

KOTA KINABALU: Annoyed PKR leaders may push to end former party vice-president Jeffrey Kitingan's “flirtatious” way when they meet tomorrow. 

Sources said party leaders who are scheduled to meet in Kuala Lumpur tomorrow “might be tempted” to end Jeffrey's career in PKR.

"Some senior leaders of PKR are mulling the idea of sacking Jeffrey in the same way it asked Zaid Ibrahim to leave when the latter said he was giving the party a month's notice of his resignation," the source said.

At that time, PKR secretary-general Saifudin Nasution Ismail had said that Zaid could leave immediately instead of Dec 16 and issued a letter stating he was no longer a member of the party.

Ikim stirs controversy with 'Not all religions are equal' comment

Thomas Lee by Malaysia Chronicle

Over the last few days, a controversy has been brewing over a statement by the Institute of Islamic Understanding (Ikim) that Islam considers that not all religions are equal, and that the concept of pluralism is antithetical to Islam.

The Umno-owned and controlled Utusan Malaysia daily has gone to town with stories suggesting that religious pluralism is a threat to Islam, and that Pakatan Rakyat supremo and opposition leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim is pushing for other religions to be put on an equal footing with Islam.

According to the newspaper, those who question the position of Islam and the Malays are practitioners of religious pluralism, in what appears to be a claim that Anwar’s rejection of Umno’s “ketuanan Melayu” concept is unIslamic, or even anti-Islam.

I think we should not just jump at Ikim and unilaterally condemn its view about the exclusivity of Islam without some serious objective evaluation and understanding of the teaching of the religion.

Jeffrey forms movement for Sabahans, Sarawakians, remains in PKR for now

By Luke Rintod of FMT

UPDATED AT 11.40PM

KOTA KINABALU: Former PKR vice-president Jeffrey Kitingan today announced the formation of United Borneo Front (UBF) as a network grouping for Sabahans and Sarawakians to assert their rights.

He also said that he was not leaving PKR as was widely speculated and dodged questions if he would leave the party in the near future.

MCLM - not the Third Force, says its founder

By Regina Lee

Kuala Lumpur, MALAYSIA: When news of a "third force" first broke out a few months ago in the heat of PKR direct leadership elections, many viewed it with scepticism, rather than optimism.

While some political party leaders, notably from PKR, dismissed this third force as neither a "third" nor a "force", others even claimed that the newly-launched Malaysian Civil Liberties Movement (MCLM) was meant to siphon off votes away from the party.

Indeed, the timing of the group has raised eyebrows as it was easy to link MCLM with the recently-concluded controvery wracked PKR elections.

However, setting the record straight is Haris Ibrahim (right), MCLM president who was appointed in October - in absentia - when the committee first met in London.

Malaysians increasingly worried BN will stage a coup

Mariam Mokhtar, Malaysia Chronicle

Muhyiddin Yassin, the Deputy Prime minister, was quick to blame PAS for attempting to discredit the government because PAS claimed there was a BN plan to seize power if the PR opposition were to win the 13th general election.

Muhyiddin said, “This is malicious and prejudicial aimed at scaring the people.”

PAS leaders are only interpreting the signs presented by BN.

Last October, at the opening of the Umno 61st annual assembly. Najib’s opening remarks were: “Even if our bodies are crushed and our lives lost, brothers and sisters, whatever happens, we must defend Putrajaya.”

Must read ! How some sleek businessmen con others !

Rajpat (the father): Son, I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: "I will choose my own bride!!!"
Rajpat: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter.." Son: "Well, in that case... Ok"
Next Rajpat approaches Bill Gates.
Rajpat: "I have a husband for your daughter...." Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!!!!!"
Rajpat: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank." Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case... Ok"
Finally Rajpat goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Rajpat: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.." President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Rajpat: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law." President: "Ah, in that case... Ok"
And that my friend, is how Indians do business.

Chaos in the House: Pakatan MPs face suspension, WikiLeaks motion rejected

By Syed Jaymal Zahiid

FULL REPORT KUALA LUMPUR: The BN-led government has  proposed that three Pakatan Rakyat lawmakers be suspended for six months pertaining to the Apco row.

Read: Is BN aiming to regain two-thirds majority? 

The three - Azmin Ali (PKR-Gombak), R Sivarasa (PKR-Subang) and Karpal Singh (DAP-Bukit Gelugor) - will likely face suspension for leaking details on the Rights and Privileges Committee probe on Opposition Leader Anwar Ibrahim.

Yesterday the committee had tabled a motion to suspend Anwar for the same period.

Anwar was hauled up before the committee for linking Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak's 1Malaysia brainchild to the One Israel campaign.

He also accused Apco Worldwide, a public relations company hired by the Najib administration, of having links with the Zionist state.

East Malaysia: the REAL Third Force in Malaysian politics

Yes, whoever gets to form the next federal government and whether it will be with a simple majority or a two-thirds majority will depend on East Malaysia. And those in Sabah and Sarawak know this. So, expect some surprises from East Malaysia over the next month or so.

NO HOLDS BARRED

Raja Petra Kamarudin

Suspensions will give BN two-thirds majority

(Malaysiakini) - Pakatan Rakyat says the anticipated suspension of four of its MPs tomorrow will lead to BN regaining its two-thirds majority in Parliament. Rasah MP Anthony Loke said the implications of this are huge and the consequences dire for Pakatan.

"Maybe the BN will use this opportunity to amend the federal constitution or re-draw the electoral boundaries," Loke told reporters at the Parliament lobby today.

A motion to suspend Opposition Leader Anwar Ibrahim for six-months was tabled yesterday in a bid to censure him for claiming that Apco Worldwide - a public relations firm that advises the Najib administration - was linked to the Zionist regime of Israel. Following this, Anwar was referred to the rights and privileges committee, which recommended that Anwar be suspended, despite not giving him the opportunity to make his defence.

The committee's investigation has been criticised by three Pakatan MPs - Azmin Ali (PKR-Gombak), R Sivarasa (PKR-Subang) and Karpal Singh (DAP-Bukit Gelugor). They have been accused of breaking the embargo on the committee's report and a motion, to be tabled today, aims to suspend them for six months as well.

Loke said speaker Pandikar Amin Mulia had "allowed the federal government to use its majority as it likes. Tomorrow, they will pass a motion to suspend Anwar and now three more MPs from Pakatan. I see a hidden agenda here.”

“This will mean huge political implications for Pakatan in Parliament because now there are 76 MPs and if four are suspended for the next six months, we will lose our one-third strength in the House. We will only have 72 in MPs,” he said.

Read more here: http://www.malaysiakini.com/news/150861